It has definitely taken me a moment to get over my shock of Michael Jackson sudden death. When I first saw the news of his being rushed to the hospital, I didn’t overreact too much, but then while being on a business call, my sister beeped onto the line asking whether I’d heard the news about Michael. I was immediately upset and told her that he was fine. He was just being rushed to the hospital. She quickly said that’s not what they are saying out there. I quickly click to the cable news, feeling an extra jump in my heart. They were now reporting he was in a deep coma. There was still hope. I corrected my sister again and hung up the phone. But that feeling was now there.
It’s weird, my attachment to Michael of course started in the mid to late 70′s. Who didn’t watched the Jacksons’ cartoons? (Right along with Muhammad Ali’s?) Who didn’t watch their variety show-with little Janet and Randy’s Mae West routine? To me there was nothing more funky then DANCING MACHINE. Later, The Destiny album was my jam and I had gotten in trouble for wearing out my mother’s 8-track. I was suddenly flooded with memories going to bed listening to his music and dreaming that I was a distant cousin that got to perform with him and his brothers. I only went to see The Wiz because Michael was in it. Even at 8 I remember thinking that was a long ass movie. When OFF THE WALL came out, I remember me and my younger sister jumping on the bed and singing GIRLFRIEND at the top of our voices. And who didn’t like SHE’S OUT OF MY LIFE-when it sounded like he was crying at the end? (Awww. I wished Michael could love me like that.)
When I moved to Germany, I remember when I was finally old enough to start babysitting for the neighbor’s kids and the first thing I bought was The Jacksons Live album. I had the whole thing memorized. For Christmas one year I remember getting the Jackson’s TRIUMPH album. Heartbreak Hotel was my jam!
The year Ebony and Ivory came out we named our dog, Ebony. It was deep.
But when I came back to the states, Thriller had hit and Michael Jackson was more popular than ever. Suddenly, I didn’t like it. I never liked it when everyone liked what I liked. Call me fickle. That year, The Girl was Mine played on the radio station like every other song. (Only Michael could get away with a PG-The DOGGONE girl is mine.)
In Junior high in Texas, for one of the classes, as a treat for all of doing so good on our test, the teacher rolled in the T.V. and this huge VHS Tape player and allowed us to watch THE MAKING OF THE THRILLER VIDEO. This was the beginning of the end of my secret love affair. I was put off by all Michael’s giggling and childish behavior. But there was still respect there. But it would never be the same. In high school, I remember buying the BAD album and wondering what the heck was happening to Michael’s skin. The man was practically white. This was before Photoshop and everyone was wondering what kind of bleaching cream did that. There was a few hits from that album, but Michael was moving further and further from my heart because I couldn’t relate to him anymore-much less recognize him. Still I continued to buy the albums. DANGEROUS, HIStory, Invincible-they are all here. And yet I still didn’t think I was like the ones screaming and hollering on T.V.(was I?)
In my 20s, the scandal broke. I remember trying to play it cool, like the accusation didn’t bother me–that is until the boyfriend I was dating at the time started calling him ugly names and was putting his 2 cent in. I remember getting incredibly upset and going off. But I never could wipe that smug smile off his face. We would have that discussion again, years later, him still smug, me pissed because it truly felt like he was attacking a family member. One that I didn’t understand, but one that I loved nonetheless.
And I still love him-though I truly feel that Michael was almost hoping for this. I believe the last trial broke him-his spirit and therefore increased his dependency on drugs. His loopiness was there for all the world to see-like Ana Nicole. Remember the documentary? No one could watch that and not see the truth. He was an addict surrounded by enablers. Sad.
At least now there is peace. Though now I suspect we’re about to see the vultures emerge and secrets brought to life. Be prepared. It’s about to get ugly.

Until then enjoy this clip 74 clip from Soul train: DANCING MACHINE

BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE (It says 82-but I think it was 79)

THE THINGS i DO FOR YOU